our lost love and our found life...

And I thought it was lasting...

You'll never know what you really feel as time goes by... I thought I'd be in love with him forever.. But I was wrong... Really, every rope has its end...

You can never deny that there would always be a certain part of your heart that would always linger in the past. I have not expected there would still come a time again that we would be able to rekindle our lost love.. Because it seems that time is so selfish when it comes to us...

I have fallen in love with him at the very first sight. And I whisper to my mind that it would be impossible to have this man in my life. He was just way too FLY... I told myself that he was just a dream... And I did not mind. Because I was with my first love that time. :) Everytime he passes by, he always had my eyes. I did not know that our worlds would become ONE one day...

When I reached my sophomore year he became my classmate. He seemed to not exist because I was too busy to notice him. I had not thought he'd been noticing my flaws. Well, talking about my not-so-right-for-girls behavior. He says I was too loud that he would never dare to have me as his girlfriend.  

But then again, we're talking about fate or coincidence. He did had courted me. And I gave him my "yes" right away! May be you may say it was a desperate move. I was just so frustrated with my first boyfriend, the reason why I need someone to lean on. He was just my crush and I was apparently not in love with him that time...

But as time goes by, this playboy-type guy caught my heart. He was just too sweet that I can't resist it. And also we had all the time in the world for we were classmates! Imagine how we could turn our vacant hours, recess and even during our classes into a dating mood. lawl. You may just laugh about it. It was kind of childish I know... And I remember that ONE DAY when we were upto TRUTH AND CONSEQUENCE and we were dared to hold hands and a teacher had caught us doing that... And guess what, I just smiled at her! [..I was just so innocent! haha!..] I never knew it was a violation. PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION (PDA). haha But I don't care that time. The only thing that's running through my mind is that "I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM"...

He really caught me completely off guard... I did not notice that. COMPLETELY...

But then, what would you expect from my poor innocence of these things?

From then on, I became so confident that this would all be stable. There would be no problems. Everything will just be fine.

What a poor child...

I never thought of his game. Third parties. Flirting with other girls. Secretly cheating. And almost lying eveyrday...

And I never knew it was possible. I was blinded with the idea of our, let's say, almost perfect LOVE STORY... You can't blame me, I had forgiven him so many times, the reason that it had turn me into the worst monster you can ever imagine!

I became rude and harsh to him. I had tortured him emotionally when he was finally really into me. I had told him my feelings for him faded away, which is not really true. I don't know what was my purpose, but may be I just did it for vengeance. I want a fair play. I needed a fair game that time... I need to heal the wounds inside me... But I did not want to lose him... :(

And eventually, he got sick and tired... He left me in the midst... He left me crying for life... He was my life... I did not know how to live then when he left! He was my everyday life!


I seek every possible cure for my broken heart. I tried to stay steadfast for my pride. But then I also became so weak that there were so many times I ate my pride and just begged him to stay... TO STAY...


But his heart did not listen to me... He wanted to be free...
I let him down.. And he wanted me to be gone...
"He doesn't care who's right or wrong... He just doesn't love me anymore..."

As I look back in the past, I fall in love over and over again... It's just so different... It's full of hearty laughs and sincere cries.. It's just so TRUE...


May be it was all really just a dream... A dream that once came true...

May be I made a few mistakes... But I need not to stay regretful.. It was all over and I need to move on... Everything happens for a reason, I know...


But then may be FATE wants to tell some important thing to me that I could not get...

We were back in each others' arms... But not officially.
We tried to redo everything. Start all over again...


But it doesn't feels right anymore.
It was all just a memory of the past.


Things are not the same anymore.
We are already two different persons.
We had already lived our separate lives.
We just don't love that much now.


Maybe we can find that love again in someone's arms..
Some stranger again that would come into our lives.
May be there's still a lil love left...
But not enough to rekindle everything.


Not enough to start our love story again...


But I loved him. He loved me.
That's a beautiful memory to remember.
A beautiful gift in life to ponder...


Thank you Mr. Lyndon Solitario.
I loved you.
And goodbye... 






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..I am starting my love story with someone else..
..I don't know where this leads me..
..Let my heart be the guide..


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